Making Your Marriage Work
Familiarity is often a result of the time that you have been together as a married couple. Nonetheless, when one is not careful this can become an obstacle that can leads to a marriage breakdown. Sometimes we assume too much from the actions of our spouses and we overreact to them instead of using your ability to listen to what the other has to say. For marriage to work, both parties must be willing and able to cultivate a certain level of receptiveness before responding. It is only a product of your own creation that you perceive certain innuendos in your partner and this has been a results of a seeming concurrent pattern that you have made up yourself. While it is true that certain cues are a form of non verbal communication, it is not good to rely only on these because there is such a thing as a real communication which is dynamic and changes according to the needs of the other person. Therefore, to rely on cues alone is not enough, and the need to verbally demand it or convey them is commensurate to good communication.
We fight like cats and dogs when we rely on perceived cues instead of cultivating patience, kindness, gentleness, and using our intuitive intelligence.
We need to learn how to let go of our reactive self and re-connect ourselves to our cognitive capabilities so that with mindfulness on our side, we can gradually resist that powerful emotion that tends to shut our rational consciousness.
Many spouses have this entitlement mindset that is very detrimental to a marriage. If you have this attitude, believing that you deserve something from your spouse or have a legal right over what you want from your spouse, then this becomes an issues of relational conflict. It is not wrong to want something from your spouse, but demanding it as if it is your legal right is another thing. If you want your marriage to survive, don’t demand anything from your spouse and lower your expectations of the other and instead count the many good things that your spouse does for your and for your family. So if both spouses do this daily, counting the good things they see instead of dwelling on their disappointments, then their life together would be more blessed.
If a couple is willing to give their marriage a chance but is not able to do it themselves, then it is best for them to seek a third party to help them out in their desire. Couples who want to give their relationship another chance should seek the help of a marriage counselor and therapist in order to help them with their goals of improving their relationship.